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Birds and People...Light and Sound

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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 14, 2022  7:39 AM 1

So this past week, I don't know. Seems I'm striking and was looking for a reason of acting quirky and maybe some people thinking I'm bent out of whack.

Was talking and singing to myself while blazing, and today, I saw a bird, than a person after a long moment of the scene not changing at all in front of me. I thought light and sound. But what was I thinking. If light flies, and we're all sound in this machine. Why is it that none of us can unearth the sound we need? Why is it we can't get our way in this world?

Than I realized even with all this, I didn't reach a conclusion, and I guess I'm thinking this'll all fade out by Wednesday when I see my doc and get my meds, but so far, it seems the meds have unleashed my thoughts to the outverse and my mouth just the motor. Not feeling too normal, but I'll try and find some contests later today lol. Got nothing to really do anyways. Yesterday I had a thought by humming we could learn so much from the flowers, and than had an image where the universe formed in the center, and the petals where we all cocooned out, and the homes the pollen. Now the stingers of the bees and me thinking way too hippie for this progressive world, is making me drift and become a person that creates his own environment, doesn't need the spectacle portrayed around him, it's a circus to how life should be lived anyways. I don't know what I'm getting at, time to normalize soon probably, or else I'm suing the meds. I'm not in my own movie where it's calling me to action, I'm just fainting out this world that hasn't worked and I've been sitting round, so now I'm the crazy person that just says some thoughts while radiating off the universe and trying to instill some real prose and talk in his own life, cuz this is just going where...I gotta fly lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 14, 2022  8:59 AM 2

these syllables that we hear and utter, all this beat to the template that forms...Imma just trying to speak to the roots of my inner language

if you think of a heartbeat do you hear yourself breath. before you say something does your mind already somehow try to put it together for you. something is too slow and it's the human race. time to get into a future that works, not just more pauses and times to delineate from the medium. Enterprise is facilitated on that which is automatic and manual on the line, but on the press there's always someone's mind thinking something AND hearing what you're saying. I'm trying to free my mind. I say, you won't listen or get anything unless you're high or at least free. But sometimes, I do get into a loop. No range on the horizon makes me distill this world into a flatline or outline, with no hard pressings of being on point to matter with so many people around. Guess if strangers are strangers, at least the people we perceive, the brain just wants to be out of context with the way everything is running. Sometimes it only feels real cuz we stammer at what we're really getting at. Not that you are any higher than anyone, cuz a god is a dog that's never had a good shared spaghetti dinner with someone. If we love ourselves, what's the harm in interpretting the world differently. There's no apparent right, and it seems some things are lodged into the cogs reeling that we never seem to be able to do manually ourselves. Still too much sleep, not enough sleep, it's all the same. Gotta to find a funk that works and leave drifting on the premise of feeling like this future is still locked out even though life never seems to stall if we're looking for a way out, the day that never come. Guess it's all in the starbright outline of the cityscape, and the promises to get you suited up. I bought into life, and I guess I lived too hard too young that now there's nothing to do and boredom is making me crazy. Sure I have a condition, but this world is damn boring if you zone out of all that happens day in day out and you see the similarities and antagonize the new things that happen like drivel to get a deeper aspect into it. Maybe it's all a riddle, no sure way, but there's nothing wrong with humans, it's either knowing too much is making you crazy, or thinking too far back and forward, somewhere feeling like a kid and trying to see where this life begins to manifest into something that you've been all this time, just somehow, this world never is as clear and great and simple as you'd have it laid out to be just to at least give pause to reflections and thoughts that just pass on in reverie. We're not sleeping, but maybe we have a shelf life here, and everyone is telling us to just take it easy and do nothing. Or they're telling us to get with the program and sign on the dotted line for a plan. Wrote too much, sorry, but I guess if someone wants to read it. I'm not a good riser, and don't really like writing, so go figure what I wrote if you got it in you lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 14, 2022  10:30 AM 3

Ahh, I guess I'm acting too crazy, the world of kijiji deals is turning it's back on me. Today he was going to hold this deal, and I know No one lives forever in box is worth $100 so is oni, that's $200. 60 games, $250, now it's on $400 but I really can't borrow and be sitting on things that don't immediately yield back cuz imma broke lol. Too much to borrow, guess I'll pass, cuz now he's saying he's holding for him. All good, you can't win them all

https://www.kijiji.ca/v-pc-games/ki...ffer/1605435747

There's prob way more money, system shock (2?) I believe, project igi, quake team arena, heretic II. I know deus ex is worth some too. But I've already been beaten, prob should've made a list with prices and offered fairer. No money no funny. Money is not going to get me off jesting in this theme of everyone's a performer and entertains themselves in their own lives but together it all clashes like the circus lol so we need our space to zone into or out of. I dunno, meh, not even frustrated, I feel good I saw a deal and someone else took it. I can't borrow anymore, so I gotta start entering and getting lucky, or getting lucky with selling the things already posted on


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 15, 2022  3:21 PM 4

Today, I sang out these automatic flowers won't do, than cornfields of popcorn are yet to spring open. Said I was eating popcorn and watching the tv of life smoking a joint and airing out. Saw some kids, they always take me out of my zone, cuz I always think my childhood, I was in a funky mirror maze lol. Said I once thought of flowers that looked really real and would have some small filtration, and you can buy different looking ones. Dap in some water and fragrance that will air the flowers or dispense this somehow. Ta-da, flowers forever.

Than they passed by, another kid stuck with his mother. I said I once thought of an etching in the blade of a sharpener that would sharpen the pencil tip at the least, and snap on so you can double side etch it. Like christmas trees, not to waste trees. I prob had some more ideas idling around, but said those 2 and thought.

Maybe I am losing my mind, who really cares haha


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 16, 2022  12:08 PM 5

got my meds, little bit of a bumpy road but nothing crazy, no more talking my thoughts out loud, still feel like singing. They take a while to kick in. The nurse giving me my meds thought I may need anxiety meds. Doc didn't think too much of it lol. I'm on highest dose, how much dosey dose can I get to keep going. I've gotta unplug, there's nothing to do. Guess my reiterations could be like the truckers striking, and my singing made people laugh. Now my head's better, but my singing is still prob not good. Maybe spreading some warmth in the winter. I've got sunshine, in a bag, I'm useless, but not for long, the future is coming on -


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 17, 2022  1:42 PM 6

well, no singing on my first joint, but on my second...lol

I think I take the meds to reel in my thoughts, They're too distant and still not determined, but I'm all apt to fly through features that get transmissioned on the tele and leave out the commercials, and than put up my own commercials to the bs that's ringing in my head. haha, I dunno

guess I'm getting back into a feature, but I'm sure I'm a crazed park kid that's somehow given up on life getting better because he's been bored too long. you never know if it's the end of the road or the beginning of something new, anything you start up, half full or half empty, but is your mind free to react and come up with new thoughts daily to keep yourself entertained as if living isn't a burden. Boredom, whatchu gonna do, I've reached the end of that, but maybe it's the beginning of some amusement...prob not, but gotta look up beyond the same ol road lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 18, 2022  10:51 PM 7 Toys You'll Love Under $15 at Chapters!

Meh, got a little better with focus, got a lack of exhuberant but not too contextual energy

on that note, I think mental health is a crock. We all have ideas, we all see some part of the world, and we all share that it's not all that it seems but try to get high

Seems sometimes I think there are just rows and rows of the same everywhere, and maybe my form of inception is like a mall, the people just to jam their own beats into your circuits, but they're not in the now, or even calm enough to catch their thoughts. But yeah, seems this world I'm in, the bus comes around on some breaks, and today I said something about flight and magnets, it rolled around and I'm like yeah give me credit for that idea lol. If this world was interactive, and the machine put people first...yeah right lol. But just a video game idea I guess, where you take off and magnet range in and try to bring you down, guess there would have to be some forward momentum in the game or just jump up and glide and try not to fall in. Maybe an indie game no idea, lame idea, cuz you cant fly, and even if metal, they don't need you to be drawn to it.

Guess just trying to get into a haze in this phase and unfunk myself in this maze. No idea if I'm striking now while all this is going on, or if I'm just trying to have fun. With it as cold as it gets, it's really hard to catch a feeling or vibe and just roll with it. No idea, guess that's all a part of life. If you mind was healthy, your body might not be. If your mind aches, it's just cause the whole world in a picture in picture scene to your small setting of where you're based is simply doing something too. I don't get the glow of the tv, but sometimes I think it's all public channels, and there's no breaking free until we all deem and have a future that is presented in an everchanging world, because you know our minds change, can't keep to the same old schtick and routine unless you want the paint to chip and you're looking at yourself going, I want to reach the past again and go into a state of infancy

But the people in the same old reflect what they seem to be, in maturity and culture, but it seems there's no avenue of expression except where you've already been. No need to move on forever, just get unstrung when it's time to play and fit the mould to the future when it becomes available in the gameplan, as we're trying to live life

The way the world kinda works is either you can have 10000 and it's one thing, and it's valuable, or 10000 of many things, and it's shared. The world will always be some form of socialism for cash and communism for freedom, as the same time some things need to be done in this world and before we deduce what it all is and means, we call it capitalism and blatant topics that don't work for the world, meanwhile it's one person's winded down head it seems lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 18, 2022  11:04 PM 8

maybe some of us in this world are already willing to let go to take the universe, life and light elements and deduce a paradise without something just blatantly wrong with the world

but we can't take ourselves, our lives and float to the clouds, even if we could, we'd be back here. Guess the world would love for you to find your skeleton key, unhinge your bones, and let your soul go. But through the vents, it might end up in a dissolved matrix setting. What happens there is mental, but I don't believe in good things needing sacrifice. Patience, strength and love are needed to get through this world. Without it, there's no looking over. But when this world is a reel by reel of the same plays,

you really do ask yourself. When is this world going to change? Will there ever be anything new? And we go off on thoughts and they say, come down or smoke less. I say, it'll fix itself on its own lol. Maybe the pinprick so the same show can keep going is just a blast of light energy that sets the intonation for the light alignment behind the stars, the forecast for the future. Seems the more you engineer and take yourself out for a ride even when it seems the quiet and dead of silence is all around distilling you to do the same, that more life perks up around you. If numbers were infinite would your birthday suffice as a phone number? Good luck in them contests, hopefully I write NO MORE lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 20, 2022  8:01 PM 9

today, I was looking at the windmill, and thought, a windmill and a fan and some strings on the windmill to have some birds flying. a toy.

I guess I was kinda seeing it, but maybe their shadows over the city looked kinda like strings. Seems I gotta stop sharing my ideas here, but that's a new one. And I guess this world will never really change until we all incept to something better and take all the things from this world we need and arrange it differently on a higher level. No need to take a trip to heaven as that's just a trip down memory lane having weakness. Live the good life and take things in stride, no need to get all rushed or hectic, but try to let up on some new things since everything might as well be the same, but at least you're trying something different lol

take care and good luck in them contests


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 23, 2022  3:37 PM 10

whatever storm was brewing in my head, it seems today I'm in the eye, it'll either fade out or continue from the other side lol

but what if in this world we relay clouds and light. That's the makeup of our universe, the sky, but here, we have the cogs of the machine, rendering and aligning it to the same brew, so that we either ingest it and focus on ourselves, or get on with tasks we figure we gotta do

however we're here for a purpose, just strange that people bond so strangely in this life or over the danky piff. When I was a little out there, some people asked if I needed money. I haven't asked for change for a real long time, but I'm thinking maybe one day I'll sit outside with a guitar and have an upside down tophat haha. Prob not, not going back. The drink calls much more strongly and vigorously because it's like you're in a panorama of commercials, when you get to the full feature, the mainstream loses out and I'm a chronic pothead lol. Keep myself entertained I guess, even when I'm popping out of my cranium lol

- to add, I was also thinking of a maple syrup tasting cigarette. Maybe a flavour, I'd hit a blunt just to try weed and a pancake lol

Edited by patstin on
Feb 23, 2022 at 3:50 PM

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Emily  
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Committed in Oct 2001
I'm in Kingston
ON
Addiction Index™: 1352
Feb 24, 2022  8:42 AM 11

Lyrical.
Do you write music too?
How are you doing? Sending good vibes.


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 24, 2022  3:55 PM 12

Better. Didn't even feel like singing on most of my breaks. If not singing, I usually don't talk bits and pieces here and there too lol. I don't write, I just go with the flow so to speak. Was feeling rushed, calming down, wasn't able to focus on anything, prob losing some money not entering contests and giving a deal to someone else lol but all good. Still I tried to sing but now it's more potent, and I really don't feel like imposing. When it seemed jittery and I had a hood on and was staring at the ground, the mind ran faster and my mouth tried to motor through it lol. Sometimes you can learn or see something from a different perspective when you air out, but seems no other storm is coming for my mind to be disorganized. Just going to chill, said no more computer time, just take it easy, but I'm always back at it lol


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 27, 2022  1:47 PM 13

but like initially started, birds and people, the people have to know true love to give some affection and be a benefit to the world about them, they also have to happy to be at their best and so many things here saying it'll make you smile with false adverts makes you think...

as after this covid, I had to have suffered a head knock of some sort lol cuz it seems now nothing can make me happy. I am no longer chasing a trip, I am no longer wanted to be a part of the crowd but want to see the people rise up. I dunno what I'm doing, not entering contests that is...could always win, have something to do, anything must be better than the same old no...I dunno, becoming an old fart haha, and not even chasing the dollar as much as I talk about them dishing you prizes and either they cater right, a maybe or something you've already done and need some brighter beam to be whisked into it right. Getting better, but with the same old being brought about, I guess creation is an obstacle to the still of gravity, and I'm not at the point of smoking and doing the same rounds. I need to lift off...I'm sure I'll chill out in spring when the wind isn't bugging me as if I'm something it can blow away. Let me smoke in peace. Not seeing too many winners, so maybe it's a decent time to be breaking? lol


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Emily  
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Committed in Oct 2001
I'm in Kingston
ON
Addiction Index™: 1352
Feb 28, 2022  7:56 AM 14

For sure, after the Christmas madness there's a lull. Hopefully spring comes soon and gives us some sunshine and cheer. I always feel better when I can get outside without freezing.


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patstin  
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Committed in Aug 2015
I'm in

Addiction Index™: 1761
Feb 28, 2022  11:29 AM 15

Yeah, and true love, I guess you have to leave it open, knowing all that happened in this world is leading you to your existance, might as well be a little friendlier with the world around cuz you're sharing a dif love. Than again, this world isn't paradise so love may have to wait to lift you, but I'm sure it's the only things giving you wings most of these mediocre days in the valley

like that iggy pop song, glow in the dark, bet you think we do it alone, all that we do cuz what you see is your world, but is anyone perched elsewhere looking at it from a different angle, seeing your world, but differently. I like music cuz it takes the edge of not having too many deep conversations in this life but I know all these thoughts and senses are because people somewhere are lighting up a cause, and here, there are events that seem to get people together, but all's I'm saying is they should happen naturally and beset it all in

I always try to riddle the program's code, thinking it's machine of jaded propagated information, and the people talking are taking aim at the misinformation, but it still seems stunted to reveal too much. Seems we live through the breathing tv as if it affects us, but there's little to no consequence of what they're saying because this world isn't a community. And if it is, we just don't have it consciously on our remotes, how does this world work and when is the time to really take it all the way to paradise and close the book of this valley, the flower bed will take on all the elements and life and just sneeze them up as they lift off to get to their higher means lol. I guess we still have some bs to flush out of our so called heads to yield to a better tomorrow and I'm betting the tv is going to have more and more broadcasts but the world by your window will start to have more sense. That's all you can really hope for in these times I guess


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