Okay, I'm the guilty one here. I dunno what it is, (maybe the lactose intolerance) but I can clear a room in seconds (ask hubby). I would only do this at home, guys, so stay where you are.
I get gas pains like labour pains and when I say, "I need to go home NOW!" he knows to "Drive, MF, drive!!!". Okay, this is usually related to the squits, but it's prefaced by major flatulence.
I try to avoid spicy food. My philosophy on food is: "If it burns going in, it burns coming out".
Yes, now back to the subject of fahting, I've become less anal retentive of late. Where I used to hold it in and abandon my shopping cart for home, I now cruise the less travelled aisles and let the wind blow free so to speak. Hubby goes back for chips and I say, "Just keep moving, don't go back there."
The other day at the grocery store, I don't know what was wrong with me. They weren't stinkers, but I was popping them off like a rapid fire machine gun. I couldn't stop. I'm walking and putt-putting along, and I'm thinking, "What the hell? Why can't I stop?" They were squeaking out no matter how tight I clenched. Then I started laughing and it was "rip rip". Jeez! There was a guy behind me and everything!
What was the question? Oh yeah. Sorry, I just love this subject so much, don't get me started. So I've been stuck beside someone who has obviously farted too, and it's embarrassing. You're thinking, "What if it wasn't him and he thinks it's me?" But you don't want to mention it, because it was likely him. Some people just don't care. They just crack one off whenever it suits them. And some people like the smell of their own farts. I feel for you, Karen. Try sniffing some coffee beans or something. Cleanse the burnt nasal hairs.
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